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SUNDAY DINNER 12.00 MIDDAY (precisely) Mother, Father, two brothers and a Jack Russell terrier prepare themselves for an eagerly anticipated Sunday ‘dinner’. Mother slaving in the kitchen, Father hovering like a referee as the two lads are sat either side of an awkwardly placed table. Mother is aware of an air of tension between the two lads and Father is laying the law down about their table manners and personal sniping. The ‘old’ valve radio is churning out Mum’s Sunday radio program ‘Family Favourites’ with amazing quality, the likes of which a transistor will never replace. BILLY B Can’t you two just talk together without bloody arguing all the time? I’m sick and bloody tired of it Every bloody meal time PHIL It’s him, he’s bloody crazy about something or other BILLY B And stop your bloody swearing (creating a wry smile on each of the two lads faces as they survey the floor in order to avoid their father’s gaze) BETTY B Bill, watch your language and lay the table for me will you And that poor little dog wants to go out for a pee BILLY B Andy, let Patch out before he pisses all over the lino ADY Phil’s closest to the door, why don’t you ever ask him (reluctantly getting up to the door to let Patch out) all I did was to ask him if I could lend his scooter And he made me look a right dipstick in front of the lads PHIL He only wants to go to the other side of the flaming country... on MY ‘new’ Lammy BETTY B Well you’ve been going to Manchester often enough Let him have a go on it PHIL A GO on it... ...to bloody Norfolk? He’s flamin’ dangerous on his push bike BILLY B Stop your bloody swearing all the time (at which point the lads burst out laughing and even the dog’s pissing himself outside) BETTY B Can you play this record that's on the radio for me tonight PHIL what's it called? PHIL A touch of velvet, a sting of brass BETTY B No wonder I can't remember it What a silly name for a record! PHIL It's by Mood Mosaic they play it on Radio Luxembourg a lot We play it all the time in the last set of slow & smoochies at Winter's You've got to promise to have a smoochie dance with Dad though BETTY B (sitting down with the last, full to overflowing plate to arrive on the table) Well that'll depend on who's still standing Come on now, let’s have a quiet meal You know Phil’s working tonight so it’s going to be a late night for him, again and there's work in the morning and I don’t want to be chasing you down the road with a stick ADY Mum, we’re not in flippin’ junior school any more BETTY B Well don’t bloody well act like it then PHIL (pointing at mum) Awww! You swore mum and with that there's more laughter from the whole troop as they settle down to enjoy the best Sunday dinner in Wales and Patch skids in on the new lino leaping excitedly onto the arm of the sofa, tail wagging and neck extended to the sweet scent of a roast lamb luncheon that he's only to eager to join in with |
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Chapter 3 Chapter 5 |