THIS NORTHERN SOUL ;
TIME WILL PASS YOU BY

BY : LDMan ©

CHAPTER 6 Down At The Club (Part II)

(backing track: Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - I'm The One You Need)

Back at the Disco (30 miutes, or more, later) The sound of Northern Soul is all that PHIL has heard and been aware of for the last half hour or more of his 'absence' and he is totally aware that it is not to everyone's taste so it is with a slightly worried and somewhat ruffled look that he re-emerges onto the scene to take control of the situation. Snatching the headphones off the microphone stand he instantly cues, announces and plays a Motown classic and the evening takes a turn back towards the sound of 70's disco. PHIL (Phil's fantastic base voice announces his re-arrival at the decks) “RIGHT, THERE YOU GO, THANKS ADY BABY FOR THOSE FEW NORTHERN SOUL GEMS, SMACK BANG UP TO DATE NOW, AND IT WAS A SUMMER HIT FOR SMOKEY ROBINSON & THE MIRACLES WHITH I'M THE ONE YOU NEED” (Phil turns to his little brother) Played any chart stuff lately? ADY Yeh!, a bit of this, a bit of that PHIL Lying get! Where’s all the girls gone then? ADY There’s a couple dancing over there in the corner PHIL That’s your bleedin’ Northern Soul posse You’ve gotta keep the girls dancing, they only drink orange and coke It’s your lot neckin’ the lager ‘n’ shorts that Rob & Grumble want at the bar That's why they let them in You’ll get me bleedin’ sacked if they notice. DID they notice? ADY Nah! .. haven’t seen them much at all They’re too flamin’ busy with the bar and a problem in the boggo PHIL (looking rather shady and getting a little flushed) Oh! Right! Fair enough then… ADY How comes you’re on your own tonight anyway? Where’s OJ? PHIL err! … OJ’s not well, ‘ think it’s his guts playing up Could have done with you earlier getting the gear in ADY Don’t have to cadge my way in here anymore (big smiles) I’ve got my own membership card now (waving the card under his brothers nose) PHIL (snatching the card) They could always find out your real age ADY (snatching it straight back) OK, OK I get the message, I’ll still help you shifting the gear anyway where the bloody hell have you been for the last half hour PHIL Oh, er, well, I bumped into Bernadette ADY Bernie the ‘bike’? D’ya mean bumped into her or pumped into her? PHIL Well … you know how it goes ADY Yeh! Up and down with her, mostly ‘ hope you disinfected it afterwards PHIL Purely by coincidence I just happen to have won on the bog bandit ADY (smirking) Oh Yeh? Right! Mmmm! What’s happened to the ‘sexy Susie from Stockport’ then? PHIL I don’t think they’ll be down again this year They’re off to Spain soon and she’s saving hard to get me something nice ADY Aha, well then, I’ve gotcha there now matey boy PHIL What d’ya mean by that ADY (flicking his fingers out in a counting fashion) one! Bernie the ‘bike’, riding whilst disqualified two! sloping off in a gig, and three! smash and grab on the Johnny machine PHIL You little sh!t How did you know about that? ADY Johno was having a sniffty of his ‘magic talc’ in the cubicle He bloody near sh!t himself when the machine hit the ground …and he nearly spilt half his ‘talc’ down the ruddy pan What the hell happened? PHIL Well...I put my flaming money in but it didn’t do anything … so I lost my temper with it and it just fell off the wall sort of I couldn’t help it I was in a bit of a rush ADY Yeh! Rush of blood to the one eyed trouser snake more than likely Anyway Dave’s been flogging what rubber you left behind, well, ALL he could fit in his pockets at half price too and making a bleedin’ mint …….and I’m on commission Why didn’t you think of that? PHIL Well, ……. she was in a bit of a rush too I think she had a date or something ADY Mmm! Sounds about right Ah well, Davey’s getting pissed as a rat on the proceeds So he gave me a few packets for keeping shtoom! And now, dear bro, it’s your turn to cough PHIL You little TW@T! …….OK go on then, what’s it gonna cost me? ADY Remember my adorable little Norfolk turkey? Well ....... she wants some Welsh stuffin’ And I’m the chef for the job (big smiles all round then one awful moment of realisation) PHIL Oh nooooooooo! ……. not the scooter? Please, Please ……. not the flamin’ scooter? ADY ‘fraid so bro’ … and some beer for the rest of the night Dad’s just about drunk all my cash PHIL I only get a friggin’ tenner for tonight you know You’ll have to give us another break later …and a help loading the stuff back in the van ADY DONE! … and you have been! … and don’t worry too much about the booze … if we run out of cash we’ll sell some of Davey’s rubber collection he’ll never notice in his state and with that the lads burst out laughing and shake on the deal PHIL ‘ seen your lot in the corner playing balloon blast Over in the corner, across a crowded dance floor, several of the locals, watched in total disbelief by a much larger group are stretching condoms over their heads, distorting their faces like armed robbers and inflating them to explosion level by breathing out through their noses. They may not ever be rich but their entertainment knows no bounds.

Chapter 5a       Chapter 7